


I'm Sorry My Darling......

by Mizu03



Category: Gangsta. (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, F/M, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm So Sorry About This..., I'm bad at titles too, Oneshot, The Author Regrets Everything
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-05
Updated: 2018-08-05
Packaged: 2019-06-22 12:16:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15581808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mizu03/pseuds/Mizu03
Summary: Words ran through your head and yet none of them made sense; but the words that fumbled past your lips were the only ones to bring a clarity to you,.......I'm sorry Nicolas





	I'm Sorry My Darling......

**Author's Note:**

> #Hello there! My name is Mizu03 and I shall be your author for today! Feel free to call me either Mimi, Mizuki or any other nickname you can think of! I am new to the Archives, so I hope that I’m doing this right........Anyway! I had originally posted this on my Wattpad account last year, so for any of you who had read this on there, don’t worry! it is still the same author of the story (same name! ^^) . For those who have no idea what I’m talking about, don’t worry about it! I would like to apologize about how bad this fan-fiction is and how short it is and about how it doesn't make any sense, which I’m sorry for! But I liked the idea of it and thought "hey! maybe other people will like it too!" but then its turned out crap........BUT ANYWAY! Sorry for rambling, once again I hope you enjoy this story! Ummmmm,leave a comment down below with your thoughts and if you'd maybe like a small second part to it! whether it be like a childhood memory or a continuation maybe a year or two later after the story of this one?? I don't know....... BUT PLEASE ENJOY! 
> 
> Oh! Before I forget! I mention two types of weapons that you, the reader, use! And they are
> 
>  -An Akdal Ghost TR01 =The Ghost TR01 is a compact semi-automatic pistol designed by Akdal arms of Turkey. It was designed as a pistol for security and law enforcement personnel rather than the military market. The TR01 is very much like the Glock 17 and shares very many similarities.  
>  - BC-41=The BC-41 was a combined Knuckleduster and dagger   weapon used by the British commando's during WW 2 for close combat and ambush situations

 How did it end up like this? your thoughts were calm. The streets of Ergastulum were quite for once; as if the city was holding its breathe, waiting for your next actions. You had propped yourself into a sitting position against one of the alley ways walls next to one of the bins, blood covered the ground and yourself but whether it was your own you couldn't tell anymore.                                                                                                                                                  

Your thoughts drifted and went back to what had happened just a few hours ago and the information that went with it, a well-known anti-twilight group had started attacking the twilights in the city; both the old and the young. You had been hired  along with your friends Worick and Nicolas to search and destroy the group, you 'd found were the gang was based but Worick had  decided to start attack the next day, he was saying something about not wanting to appear dishevelled in front of one of his clients; that and it was a waste of time to attack at night. You thought and voiced an idea, you thought that you could use yourself as a detraction so that the handymen could get in but the idea was rejected. You said that you could look after yourself, you were a grown woman for god’s sake! You'd looked to Nicolas to help back you up but even he said (well signed) no, that it was too dangerous for you, you were only human and were fragile. You had left the house in a fit of rage after that, missing the flash of panic in Nicolas's eyes, his small movement to go stop you from leaving and Worick grabbing his shoulder and shaking his head to say no to him; the rest of the day had passed by in a blur and in the late evening you had found yourself in front of the anti-twilight Gangs’ hideout. You did the only thing you thought you could do to prove to them you weren't fragile. You attacked. And you attacked with force.

It had quickly become a bloodbath, since it was the evening the Daedric gang members weren't expecting an attack to happen. You had the upper hand. But Lady Luck must have demoted you from her favourites as things took a turn for the worst after a couple of hours, you'd used most of your ammo for your two trusty Akdal Ghost TR01's and was forced to start using your BC-41s. There had been more gang members then you had originally expected, and you were forced to flee but you were followed and cornered in an alley way near to Mama Georgina's "Pussy" brothel. There were a small number of them armed with guns and only one you armed with BC-41s but that didn't stop you. You fought. You killed as many of them as you could, you were injured but it was nothing you couldn't handle; one of the members must have attacked from behind with a heavy object (most likely a pipe) as your world started to spin and you started to fall to the ground, you heard gun shots. You hit the ground before you felt the pain. And it was excruciatingly painful, they'd not only manged to hit the junction between your (Non-dominant arm) and the shoulder which you lost feeling in quite quickly but your hip and stomach too. Your thoughts were panicked, you did the first thing that popped into your head, you pretended to be dead.

You counted the steps it took them to come over;                                                                                                                                                               1... 2...3…4... 5...6...7..8...9...10...

it took two of them 10 steps to reach you the other two it took 15 steps, they hovered over your (Figure/Shape) body their unsure voices blurring together, it didn't matter to you what they were saying in the first place. Your grip on your weapons tightened as you started to mentally count yourself down till your attack, after 5 seconds you launched yourself at the nearest two making quick work of them; the other two were a problem.  You manged to kill one of them and fatally wound the other; you left the wounded one to die alone but as you made your way to leave, pain filled your chest.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            You paused                                                                                                                                            

With your eye-sight focusing in and out you started lifting one of your hands to your chest. The hand you lifted to your chest slowly groped the pain that had blossomed. As you pulled your hand away and looked down to see a crimson flower blooming just above your heart, you looked up to the sky and smiled gently. You finally turned and looked at the injured man his gun arm shaking, his eyes glaring triumphantly, and his lips set into a smirk; he spoke what were to be his final words

"If I’m going down, you’re going down with me Bitch"  

You smiled faintly,

"I was already marked for death...."

And with crimson liquid staining your clothes, you simply turned away from the man only to collapse near one of the many bins lining the alley.

 

The rumbling of Thunder that was heard in the distance, made you come out of your thoughts. The Man that had shot you had died from blood loss, which made you think about your own injuries and how you hadn't died yet, you sighed before starting to thinking

_I have to keep moving.....i can't let them see me like this, heh i wouldn't be surprised if Alex started to panic like a chicken with no head, aw man what would Worick think of me and my currant state? and Nicolas.....Nico.......I never got to tell you how much i love you......no....one last time... Please whatever Godly powers up there, let me see them for one last time.......Let me tell Nicolas i love him, even if it isn't returned..._

 

 

And with that thought you used the wall to push yourself into a standing position, your soft pants of pain sliced through the air; you stumbled at the first few steps but righted yourself up. The Pain was still there but it was now accompanied by an aching numbness, as you started to walk the sky started to rain lightly; you smiled and looked up letting the sky caress your face with its tears. It was almost dawn; you stumbled your way past the "Pussy" brothel, you made eye contact with one of the girls stationed outside, you recognized those cornflower blue eyes and bright ginger hair tied into a French plait it was an odd friend of yours, Lily.  Her eyes widened at your state, she started to frantically call Mama Georgina but by the time she had turned around you were already gone.You carried on walking as best as you could and for as long as you could. It had started to rain hard, the weeping and wailing of the sky made you want cry to but you didn't have the mental strength at the moment to cope. You staggered and collapsed, you dropped your weapon; the metal made a dull thunk on the stones. Your soft pants filled the air, your body couldn't take anymore, you physically couldn't get up. Silent tears slid down your face and mixed with the rain

 

_I_ _'m sorry everyone.... I’m not strong enough.... I’m so sorry_

 

 

You started to cough, you turned your head to the side as best as you could to spit out the mixture of blood and saliva; you could feel your life energy leave your body and pool around you, if you were to look at it from above you could say that the crimson fluid was fanning out into the shapes of flowers; you started to feel numb and empty. You released a gentle sigh, with your remaining tears still flowing you looked at the sky one last time trying to imprint the colours of the rain clouds and as you started to close your eyes, the sound of running feet broke the silence and caused you to snap open your eyes. Your hands twitched at your sides, you released a groan of pain as you forced your body to sit up and then to stand up; whimpers escaped your lips as you forced your body to enter a fighting position.

 

 

"(Y/N)! where are you?!"

 

Your eyes widened that voice it couldn't be, _Worick?... it was Worick!_ Relieve flooded your senses as you allowed your body to relax, the tension that had gripped your very being lightening up.

 

 

"I'm here! Worick I'm over here!" your voice was harsh and raspy

 

More footsteps could be heard

 _wait, that wasn't one set that._ Your eyes widened  _... that was two! They’ve both come to find me!_

just that thought brought more tears to your eyes, the first one to find you was Worick. His Blue eye widening at the sight of you, you smiled and started to stumble towards him but as you moved you fell forwards; he rushed forwards to catch you; your hands placed on his chest and his own arms around your waist, trying to keep you upright. Before speaking you let out a raspy laugh that echoed around the street

 

"Worick I’m..." he stopped you before you could continue

 

"(Y/n) - Chan its ok! everything is fine..." he stopped speaking, you open your eyes (that you hadn't even realized you had closed) and try to look behind him; Worick turns himself so you could get a better view, Nicolas had arrived.

 

Nicolas stood there, Frozen, almost unsure if what he was seeing was real. Your breathing had become laboured, choppy, uneven. You looked awful, normal smooth (Skin/colour) had turned ashen and pale......abnormal, (Hair/Colour) strands of hair fell into your face from its usual style and your wounds............, god there was so much blood covering you that you couldn't fully tell what colour your (Top/T-shirt/Shirt/etc.) had started off to be. You turned your head to look at Worick who understood the look in your eyes; the desperate plea written in those eyes of yours, he'd seen that look on many people's faces, it was the dying plea of a death marked person. Worick smiled sadly but before letting go he whispered gentle words in your ears, words that made your dying heart pang with emotional pain; you smiled in return and simply thanked him.      With steps uneven you started trying to walk to Nicolas; with a shaking hand outstretched towards him, Nicolas couldn't get his limbs to move towards you. Only when you stumbled and started to fall did his body start to respond. His face set in an unseen panic, arms cradling your body to his; trying so desperately to keep your body warm, alive, and eyes started to quickly scan your lips for words.With your own eyes closing you laughed quietly and spoke,

 

"hahahaha...haha.... ha, I'm sorry Nico......you...you were right, i should have just stayed at home with you guys and attacked in the morning " 

 

His brow furrowed and his mouth set in a grimace  as he tried to get you to open your eyes so he could sign something to you but when that failed; the diluted panic in his system became stronger, he looked to Worick for help but was met with the face of someone who was mourning, but for who?......no they were aimed at both him and...........and.........(Y/N) .His eyes quickly snapped back to you as your grip on his suit  jacket had become weaker, he looked back to Worick; panic clear on his face quickly changed to shock as he quickly began to read his friends  lips and the words that rolled off of them.

A (small/medium/large) hand cupped his cheek snapping away his concentration on the words that had come from his friends mouth, your thumb gently brushing across his cheekbone and wiping away the liquid that had fallen from his eyes; his hand lifted to cup your own, your  expression had changed from its pain twisted grimace to that beautiful smile that used to make his  face flush and heart beat fast but now it only made him ache. It was painful for him to look down upon your smiling face, he felt weak at the lack of action he could take to keep you alive........ or by his side.With your eyes half-lidded you started to speak.

 

"Hey now, don't look so grim-I know! remember that time Nina ...."  You had started to ramble in your deathly state, your mind purely set on trying to remember every memory that you'd created with the handymen and their small crew of friends.  His eyes now focused on your lips, reading every word that fell from them in waterfalls trying to keep as many of the words locked in his head; keep as many of the shared memories locked away. His eyes widened at the sentence that had slipped past your lips so easily, like ink on water. The words that had gracefully tumbled par-tingly from your lips causing his mind to go blank, no......., you couldn't. 

It was only when your hand slipped away from his face that he was drawn back into reality. Your breathing had become slower and your eyes that once held warmth had faded, taking on a dulled glass-like shine. The panic in his system kicked back into play as your body became more slack, **lifeless** _._ With the hand that wasn't cradling you to him, he with hand shaking; gently touched your neck trying despairingly to find an anchor to keep you in this world. But his search for this golden life line was unsuccessful..................tears clocked by rain slid down as his hold became tighter on your body. You had passed on to the other side, leaving him with only those sacred last words that where never said in return.                                                                                                                                                                                                                     

 

 A broad hand patted his shoulder he looked up, Worick.......his usually smirk wiped clean off his face at the loss of his other childhood friend.  Worick started to sign a simple asking Nicolas to carry your body so they could get to Doctor Theo's, a place your body could rest peacefully for a while and somewhere that friends could pay their last respects. Nicolas simply nodded gently lifting your body up, your head lay limp in the crook of his neck; he didn’t bother moving it, to bothered in the thought that if you were alive in this moment, how embarrassed you would have looked. They started to walk. Worick quickly stopped and went back to the object laying on the stoned street, it was well sharpened and red stained the steel of the blade and its spiked handle. Worick knew this weapon as it was seen before even though it was a rare weapon to find and own, its common name was known as a BC-41. (Y/N)'s second choice of weapon. A slight smile crossed worick's face as he bent to pick it up and as he jogged to catch up with Nicolas he gently started tossing it in his palm to feel the weight of the weapon; it was familiar and still slightly warm. The warmth of the weapon and its design reminded him of his lost friend, a sad sigh was released.It was evening by the time they had left Theo's and the streets had once again become lively and bright, but it didn't match the handymen's moods. They reached home in utter silence not a word was said between them or Alex, all were too caught up in their ways of handling the grief.

 

 

Nicolas was more withdrawn that evening and had gone straight to bed, for the first-time in quite a few years his dream didn't hold any malice, no it was warm and loving. In the dream it was daytime, and he was at the edge of a field. Flowers were dotted randomly but standing proudly amongst the others were (Favourite Flowers). Nicolas started to move forwards gently plucking a few of the flowers but he didn't know where he was heading or towards what dissipate that he carried on; the need to find out where he was heading pulsated within his veins. When a familiar looking tree with its spiked fence behind it came into view with an adult and child sat underneath, their identity hidden by the shadow cast by the tree, but they seemed to be happy and having a.......a picnic? When he drew closer they both seemed to stop talking the child jumping up and running towards him and tackling him by the waist before looking up and smiling; the child was small  with his  shaped eyes, (E/C) stared happily up at him and black gelled spikes of hair stuck up in different directions, The child looked like a perfect mixture of himself and.....and you. But that couldn't be, you had died earlier today.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        The child tired of waiting for him to move out of his place then gently took him by the hand, the adult that was concealed by the shadows stepped forward; his breathe caught in his throat. It was you standing happily waiting for both him and the child that looked like the both of you, it had clicked in his head that the child that was leading him to the tree was your child, you had child together and you were happy. When he and the child finally reached the tree, he was meet with a hug which caused him to drop the flowers. You were smiling (up/directly/down) at him, your lips forming so many wonderful words that he wished he'd heard sooner; he quickly began to kiss your lips, something he'd been denied in reality. He didn't know how much time had passed since he'd arrived in this place and he didn't care either, for as long as he was able to make up for all the time lost between you and what could have been if you were alive.

 

But as the sunset in this wonderful reality he found, where you were alive and had started a family together. It all started to disappear as night sunk in, all that was left was white surrounding everything. The last thing left in his sight was you, stood in summer wear and a flower crown perched upon your (H/C) locks of hair; the wounds you had received had started returning staining your clothes and his mind. You smiled but tears traced your cheeks, his eyes widened in sudden realization as you too started to disappear from the feet up.

 

"I love you Nicolas Brown, I always have done, and I always will. Look after everyone for me ok? I'm sorry it had to end like this......

 

A gentle kiss was placed upon his lips.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Nicolas Brown woke up, with reality coming back in waves. You were dead. And so, Nicolas lay there; alone and tired thinking about what could have been and what will never happen.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hello again! just me here to say once more that i hope you enjoyed the story and if its not too much trouble, to leave a comment down below with your thoughts on it!


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